The marriage is over, the ink is dry on the divorce and it’s time to move on, but what should a woman do about her last name? Should she continue to use her ex-husband’s last name or should she return to her own pronto? Many are of the idea that she should keep it so that it will match her children’s last name, but what if a couple didn’t have any children? Or what if the children they had together are now fully grown adults?
Times Have Changed
Many have debated whether married women should ever change their last names at all. Sure, once upon a time in the days when married women couldn’t have their own banking accounts or even when women weren’t allowed to establish credit, identifying one’s self as Mrs. So-and-So was a bit of a necessity. It also established a clear family brand when mom, dad and children all had the same last name. But things are a little different now. Women are free in (almost) every sense of the word and families look a little different than they once did. For example, it’s common to find blended families with children bearing the last name of a father who happens to be mom’s first husband while other children in the same family and with the same mother bear the name of their father who is mom’s current husband… or another ex-husband… or the man she was never legally married to, but had children with. School admission staff and others in the public space rarely bat an eye at family members with different last names these days. So are there good reasons for a woman to hang onto a man’s last name after divorce?
Should Men Have a Say?
And what about the man, does he have any say so? What if he really doesn’t want his former wife to continue to use her last name? What if she’s a high-profile person and he doesn’t want his family name in the spotlight? What if he is a high-profile person and wants to carefully control how his name is used in the public space? What if he has a new wife who doesn’t much care for sharing her new last name with a former wife? What if his ex-wife cheated on him or was otherwise abusive towards him and he just doesn’t want her to share his last name? Should he have a say in the matter?
Should Divorced Women Keep an Ex’s Last Name?
So what’s your opinion? Have you ever had to make this decision? If so, what made you lean towards a yes or no? Men, what’s your opinion on the last name debate? Does it bother you that an ex still uses your last name?
I’d love to hear everyone’s opinion, so please take a moment to share it in a comment below. Or follow me on social media and let’s continue the conversation there!
